Having a hard time

A lot of us are having a hard time. Dealing with the evil in the world, and feeling so incompetent to make the first step to deal with it. Asking “why” is insufficient. Faith feels flimsy and embarrassing sometimes.

I struggle too. The war rages within me- knowing prayer is powerful, having a line to talk directly to God. (no stand ins need apply, my omniscient Father is always there anytime, anywhere)

Also knowing that he doesn't always answer the way I want Him to, or in the way I'd like Him to.

I sure would have liked my uncle to live long enough for me to see him one last time on this earth. I sure would like to have a lot of German and French speakers come to Covenant Players. I sure would like to see people get healed and saved. It feels like a thick dark curtain is falling down all around me sometimes. It feels like the ones that call themselves Christians, myself included sometimes, are the worst people out there because they know the truth and would rather hide from it because it's painful. Because they only want to worship a God that makes good things happen. Fair weather Christians, welcome to the pounding rain that is a lot of issues that are black and white and need to be acknowledged as such. Welcome to the storm that is accepting Jesus not only as Savior, but Lord, and doing what He asks you to do, even if it's not on the top of Your all important list.

I want to share something my uncle Steve wrote, as he was dying of Pancreatic Cancer. As his body was wasting away, but his soul was growing and accelerating in joy and knowledge of the Lord.

The right time to praise the Lord-

When I am being attacked

when “darkness” descends

During pain.

That can only make sense to someone who has chosen Jesus as Lord. Who has submitted their lives to Him. It is only possible to be obedient to praise in the face of sickness, death, and attacks and pain when the Hope you are living for is more important than the evil limitations of the physical world.

When the matrix curtain folds back, and you see how frail and unstable this world is, and how God is full of love, drawing us to Him, to freedom, to abundant life.

Acts is an amazing book. Paul had a dream, a vision of a Macedonian man, pleading for help. Paul came, and then a woman who was possessed by a demon was bugging them. She was annoucing who they were and why they were there. Paul told that demon to pack his bags. The people who owned the girl were ticked off about losing their money-maker, so they arranged to have Paul and Silas beaten.

The Bible doesn't say, “They complained to the Lord, 'Why did you bring us here, anyway? I thought you had a plan here!' ” “They groaned about the pain of their wrists and feet.” “They called down curses upon the men who hurt them.” “A brave vigilante burned down the house of the captors and before they left they spit on the face of their taunter and shoved a sword into their stomach.”

No.

“But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them.” Act 16:25

They sang to God, when it didn't make sense. And the rest of the world heard them and thought they were nuts. They were probably wondering how anyone could sing in this kind of situation. They probably listened to the sound of joy and hope frantically because it was the first sounds like that they had probably heard in a long time.

Feet in stocks, bleeding and scabbing and pounding, they sang.

Before the miracle they sang.

“Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone's chains were loosed. And the keeper of the prison, waking from sleep and seeing the prison doors open, supposing the prisoners had fled, drew his sword and was about to kill himself. But Paul called with a loud voice, saying “Do yourself no harm, for we are all here.” Then he called for a light, ran in and fell down trembeling before Paul and Silas. And he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

Look, if you are reading this, you probably are a Christian. Why else would you take so much time reading about a young woman and her bible studies unless you were one, or want to be one? A real, sold out, not holding back, opposite of nominal and church chair warming servant of the Most High God, that is.

So, dear Brother or Sister in Christ, (or soon to be Brother or Sister in Christ) how well have you been at remembering lately that the enemies that exist on earth are not of flesh and blood? That the world is not going to get any better and the debate is not in establishing that there are “evil people” but an evil adversary. The keeper of the prison was in the wrong. He was also a hurting soul and he was in need of the Savior. As much as the fellow prisoners listening to the hymns. As much as Cesear, sitting on his throne, as much as anyone ever did.

As Matt Redman so beautifully put it-“When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I'm gonna say....Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your name, Jesus.”