Grey hair, unity, and more faith basics

What I've learned about myself-

1. I am currently finding more grey hairs. (Thanks premature graying genes.) I think I am up to about 3 now.

2.I'm not as vain as I used to be, especially about the length of my hair and how pretty that makes me feel. I found this out after feeling pretty emotionless after getting my hair cut short the other day.

3. I would rather not do things at all sometimes than do them half as well as I think I could.

I, Mrs. “Good-enough-mantra-kid-since-the-concept-of-school,-grades-and-passing-and-failing” Katie, do have perfectionistic tendancies. Because of that, I have let multiple important relationships fall, have avoided creativity, and have neglected this blog. I haven't felt so inspired, not with my stories, not with to-do lists, not with all that much. It's a time of mission, I suppose. In my world, the world of 2 missions a year, this is the Exodus 2012 mid mission hump. (Soon it will be Christmas, though it sure doesn't feel like that, because it has been so wonderfully warm. France is wonderful, I tell you what. We went swimming a few weeks ago. In the ocean. The ocean that is outside.)

4.I am afraid to get inspired and passionate about things sometimes, because it can make me feel like I'm not even a drop in the bucket. I got emotional and angry and bothered about politics a few weeks ago. I'm not even going to turn this into a political blog, because then it's just a “my side and your side” thing, and I think Christians should go for the solidarity of Jesus, his absolute love and forgiveness for all of us, Republicans and Democrats and Green and Tea Party and Brony and Nerdfighter alike. I don't know how to find the line between opinion and emotion, and I don't want to alienate people because of either of them. It's hard.

5.If I don't understand something, I avoid it with a ten foot pole. I didn't just learn that. I mean, that's how I was in school, from the point where things didn't come naturally. Somewhere around the beginning of third grade. Around the time I threw that hammer at Britta. (Sorry Britta.) (And all my former Unit Leaders that had to deal with me....)

6.I don't want to be guilty of hiding behind a Bible. I was recently talking to a host who was talking about how Jesus didn't condemn the woman at the well, who was caught in adultry. He didn't point out how bad she was and make sure everyone else knew that he was against that kind of behavior. He loved her and said, “Don't go back. Don't do it anymore. Be forgiven.” I don't want to read the bible looking for what God hates, but I want to discover how to love the way he does. I know that I need grace as much as the people who use children as human shields. It's a human perspective to think that the “good family man” is a lot closer to the Lord than the “person putting razor blades and heroin in kids halloween candy.” The smallest sin separates us from God. Jesus brings us close, because he chose to pay the price of our sin's against him. This may seem like a basic thing, but especially at times like this, coming into an intense election, and feeling all the things that separate us, we have to stick to what unites us. We had a wonderful time of ministry at an English speaking church last Sunday, and there was an especially moving responsive reading. The Pastor wrote it with a lot of passion, I could feel that. I want to share a bit of it.

“Gracious God, we thank you for being here amongst us this morning and we come to you with different needs.”

Some of us here need to say “Help me” And some of us need to say “Save me” and some of us need to say “Hold me” And some of us need to say “Forgive me” So we will wait together, forgive one another as you forgave us, and we will praise you together. Amen.

Blessed are you Lord for you hear our prayers and our hearts dance for joy as we worship you. Amen.

I especially love that part about needing to say, “Hold me” to the Lord.

It was an incredibly encouraging time, to talk to him and his wife, to see how the Lord has provided for him, and to see how we were brought together to do ministry in apart of France where there haven't been a lot of doors open in along time! I could write a whole blog about that, but I will save it for another time. I do have more to say, wow! That's cool!

Be blessed, friends. I hope these ramblings have been worth the time.

Katie

A Path

Oh Consuming Fire
destroy my disobedience
Burning Pillar by night
lead me
I want to go to Mount Zion
to the city of the Living God
As the waves of faith lap against my weary heart
As I am gently guided to go where I don't want to go


"Therefore straighten the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed. Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord, looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled..."Hebrews 12:14

We have to be careful where we walk. The path that we are on becomes our destiny. It becomes the state of healing that our heart is on. And it becomes our character.

"A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgement. A fool has no delight in understanding, But in expressing his own heart." Proverbs 18:1-2

"Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise; For yet a little while, And He who is coming will come and will not tarry. Now the just shall live by faith; But if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him." Hebrews 10:35-38

He is faithful to remove our hurts. He is our shepard! I like the wording in Psalm 23:2- He makes me to lie down in green pastures. I can picture myself saying, No, I'm fine, I don't need to rest. I can keep going, I'm tough, and gently being pushed onto soft, springy refreshingly cool grass. I can almost hear the Shepard of my busy soul saying, "Hush. Feel this grass I made for you. He knows I'm heading into the valley of the shadow of death, and unless my soul is restored, I won't be ready. I won't have the quiet confidence to have no fear. I won't be comforted in the knowledge that He is with me.

I'm not being cryptic or enigmatic. There are seasons in all of our lives where we are headed for lush pastures, and for the the valley of the shadow of death. It's a shadow. It's dark, and scary and unknown. But Jesus conquered death. He took the sting out of it. So ".. let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame,  and has sat down at the throne of God. (Heb. 12:1-2)

Bless you!