Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Well, Has It?

"Has the arm of the Lord been shortened?"

This phrase has come to my mind and I felt like I should write about it. This is a rhetorical question asked in Old Testament times, when people doubted. When people couldn't see that God of course was strong enough and big enough to take care of their problems. I think it's a good question for us to keep asking ourselves. I know I need to.

As drastic change approaches me, I get more creative. I feel the need to make something to mark that I am here, that I was here. I haven't been as creative, I've been sorting silly scraps into different envelopes. I have a pretty extensive scrap collection. They are in envelopes from old birthday cards and photo printing places. Scenes, people, art, things, animals. I have thought of maybe using these scraps as writing prompts, pull one of each and write a story. Maybe I'll get to that one of these days. But when I am in my "scrap world" it's cathartic to trim edges, to put together the different colors and textures that the camera has captured. It's my world and when I add pages to the leather book I've been adding to on and off for over 6 years, I feel like I have accomplished something. I am pretty dang proud of this leather book. It was made with cardboard, twine, (Michael's twine!) and those little cardboard pieces you sometimes get when you buy underwear. The leather was added by a wonderful host in Germany. It's the underside of a car leather sample.It's soft and real and was expertly glued with expensive craft glue. It's pretty and even, which I'm not able to do. I can't cut a straight line if my life depended on it.

I started my first book when I was graduating from High School ten years ago. This is my third one. I have a lot of memories and time and money invested in them. (in scouring photo albums and making copies of pictures at Kinko's) They are mine. They represent so much of my life and so many of the memories and emotions that make me who I am.

I can't even imagine how sentimental my God must be. He must look at our scars, inside and out remembering each thing as if it just happened. He knows the story behind each picture, He knows the person behind each face. He knows the hopes, dreams, disappointments and desires of the world. His power may seem stunted in our limited view, but if we could only see the big picture. I heard or read recently that God moves globally. He doesn't change something for the sake of inconveniance of one person. When He moves, He does things that work for the best to bring as many people as possible to His love and assurance.

Has the arm of the Lord been shortened? Is He less able to do things now than before? Has the God who created the universe, who stopped waves with a word, who has brought peace to the most violent hearts shrunk?

The next time I start doubting the plan He has for my life, I'm going to ask myself that.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Open doors

I think I am getting a point. A point that people have tried to teach me, that I probably have taught to someone else at some point. (I'm good at knowing things in my mind and passing knowledge on without taking it into my own heart, sometimes.)

God IS in control. Doors open because He opens them. It's been a lot of stress for me, not knowing what will happen as we go back to the States (again) this Summer. Next month. But as far as getting bookings go, as far as there being a unit to do these bookings, He will do it. Or He won't. But if he chosses to not send a unit, and we have to reschedule the programs until later, it will be because that is what is best.

I am so much more content in the knowledge the He does care. He cares about every moment that I reach out to him. That  involving Him in every detail of my life is a beautiful and powerful thing. My strength is not enough. His strength is all I need. It's simple, it's complicated, it's beautiful, it's true.



Thursday, May 1, 2014

Something worth reading

Hello World,

I have been trying to find out what I am supposed to do with this blog. It's funny how I can look at the flags and see which country has visited here, but I can also feel like it doesn't actually matter when I don't know what people actually read or take away from it.

But, I know it doesn't matter what others do, it only matters to be faithful to what God has given me. And He has given me so much. I have been trying to implement a change of thinking that has been pretty revolutionary. To not think of things in terms of deserving them, or expecting them. I can apply that here, I suppose. Not each post is going to be my favorite, or will be filled with the deepest thoughts, but it's better than nothing. It's better than not writing.

But what is real writing when there is is no soul searching, no inner bleeding. It's so easy to spend the time blabbering and saying nothing. Being safe. But you are reading this blog right now, whoever you are, because the Lord ordained this time.

While writing this, reflecting on what it was that God had for me to share- I found this.

  http://northkoreanchristians.com/atrocities-north-korean.html

Please take the time to read and learn about our brothers and sisters in North Korea. They need support.

You are blessed to be a blessing. Not to sit on a pile of riches and wish for more stuff to be propped up into a comfortable position.