About French, MS, joy and life- An Update

Man, I can't write an status update on facebook to sum up the things I want to talk about. There's too much. I've been wanting to write about this new call to France, or rather, Frankophone Europe (French speaking Europe, for those of you that might not know that. I didn't know it until a few weeks ago.)

During this past retreat, which is a wonderful time of being together and getting closer to the Lord and our call and the community of Covenant Players- my awareness that there was a real need for someone to go to France was growing. This was the area that always sounded the most difficult. I didn't feel connected to the language, and I had heard so much negative stuff about it. When our supervisors asked us, we were ready to say “Yes.” We knew it was where the Lord wanted us to go. And then began our French immersion. Learning plays phonetically and letting go of the German language and our old area. We had said our goodbyes, so it wasn't such a shock. Of course, as soon as I started trying to put French into my brain, the only thing that came out was Swedish. (Which is only bits and bobs, so no one thinks I'm “that” amazing at languages. )

To be agonizingly honest, because I guess I'm really determined to be human and real- I had a breakdown working on my second French play. (SEARCH was nothing- DEPEND ON IT broke me down.) I cried onto my script in front of my poor brand new Unit Leader. Praise the Lord, he's an encouraging, prayerful, positive in every sense of the word man of God, so it didn't intimidate him. He just kept saying “I know you can do it! You are awesome! You can do it!” It helped, the Lord was there, and I got those 2 first roles in French for unit showcasing. (Which is where each unit performs for the campus as a way to prepare for the first programs of tour.)

I was more scared for that first official French PD than I was for coming to CP in the first place, than my first rollar coaster, than seeing a spider crawl on me, than.....I don't know what else I was more scared than, but I was scared. A lot. The PD happened, and the old folks loved it and all was okay.

And then we got to our next host home, and I met Evelyn. A former Covenant Player who had to stop traveling because of MS. Multiple sclerosis. And we talked and talked. She is so happy. She is stuck in a wheelchair, she can't feed herself, she can't remember names for very long, and she can't play with her nieces and nephews. But she can talk, and sing, and worship, and her hope is so strong, nothing can take it away. She talked about how she loved to perform, and she even loved the contact work. She loved being around people. Her Mom said that when she was a little girl, a traveling missionary came to her sunday school class, and she said, “Hey! Why aren't we traveling missionaries?”

She was so open about not wanting to feel sorry for herself, and when she would talk about what was hard, she would then light up and say, “But I'm so happy because you are here! Because it's so good to see Covenant Players! And I'm happy because of Jesus! I'm so excited for heaven! I'm so happy to talk to you!” I shared a song with her, “I Can Only Imagine”, and she just lit up inside and out. She wanted me to sing it again. She wanted to find it and listen to it again and again. She said, “I want to dance for Jesus!” She said these things with a beautiful, real, sincere smile.

Later on I looked at some quotes I've collected and got hit with equally big convictions.

“Doubt is self-fulfilling.”

“Our citizenship demands that we have a different mindset.”

Thank the Lord for spiritual smacks upside the head.

Now I'm working with less fear, and with less expectancy to get the lines as fast as I get English and German ones. Now I'm full of joy that is as real as the air I breathe. Joy in the fact that God is in control and it's not a toothy, silly wackiness, but a confidence. Confidence in the hope that I have. We are called, we are here, and He is with us, and if God is for us, who can be against us?

A Warning about Judgments

A warning is a specific thing. In childhood, a warning is issued, saying that if an action or behavior is not taken seriously, is repeated, then there will be consequences. There are signs along the road saying, “CAUTION” when there is a risk of falling rocks, or unexpected twists, or basically anything dangerous for someone not paying close attention. Judgment is usually the reaction to not following a warning. A behavior or action was committed again. The warning was not taken seriously. The warning was ignored. The warning was taken to mean- “Well, as long as I don't get caught, I won't get in trouble.”. The authority was not listened to, so the punishment is now in the hands of the authority.

Why is this concept applicable and understandable to everything but the Lord God, creator of the heavens and earth?

As the result of a campaign the enemy has been undertaking since he found out how little time he had left, not to mention the campaign of the human heart, making excuses for sin and rationalizing it away, the words “warning” and “judgment” have radially different definitions than they were ever meant to have.

From a worldly point of view, warnings are taken to be judgments. And judgments are thinly veiled personal complaints about whatever makes one uncomfortable.

Atheist’s don't like God, so they chose to not believe in him. And people that have no idea about Him, but want to believe, pick up a little idol I like to call “Genie”, and they ask it for things, not necessarily bad things either, personal healing, healing for others, relationships, growth, whatever. But it's a one sided relationship because they only ask, they don't listen. And as soon as they don't receive, they give up on that little idol-God and say, “Oh, I tried Christianity. I tried God. It didn't work for me.”

Or maybe they go deeper than that, but as soon as they read something in the bible that doesn't sit right with them, that hurts a little too much, that would imply there would need to be some personal change, sacrifice and commitment, they put that down too. As if our own comfort level should be the standard for what is right and wrong.

The Bible is full of warnings. It's a love letter in the sense that the Lord, the Savior of the earth, gives us chance upon chance upon chance to come back to him. To be forgiven. To receive his love and grace even after we've spiritually spit upon him while his death crushing sacrifice was happening. When we've plugged our ears at his warnings to just follow him, to leave our sin and lose our bondage.

This is something I wrote a few months ago-

Love is not acceptance.

Discipline is not hate.

Sin is not subjective.

Our master is not fate.

Purring lies are friendlier than truth,

smoothing hair and patting heads

The strong arms to lean and grasp will pull you down to death

Truth called out- “Oh, don't believe them!

I love you too much to see you fall!”

Mouth grimly set, you said

“Don't judge me. I already know my call.”

Love is not empty handed. Love never stops hoping.

Love makes the night shine like the day.

Nothing can get in the way of love.

Don't confuse warnings and judgments.

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

There was a guilty woman, an adulteress. She was brought to a group, to be stoned, according to the old law, the old covenant. Because her sin was discovered, and before Jesus, the wages of that sin was a swift punishment of death. The wages of sin was also animals, like I've talked about before, the blood sacrifice. But then Jesus said that whoever was without sin should cast the first stone. They all gradually left, and it was just her and Jesus, and he asked her who was still there, (because he was busy writing something really interesting in the dirt with his finger, sure wish I knew what that was) and she said, “No one, my lord.” And he said, “Neither do I accuse you. Go and sin no more.” She didn't have to die right then and there because of her sin. She had to be aware of her sin, and she had to be alone before Jesus with it. And he had to forgive her and set her free with his power, because he was the ONLY one who could DO IT. And that is where we are now.

Listen to me, people. Defining sin is NOT judgment. If no one knows what sin is, no one knows they need a savior. If no one is warned that judgment will come from the only truly righteous One who ever existed, then what did Jesus die for? If we don't appreciate what he did enough to even think about it, to think about what it means, about the love that went into it, if we don't think about the cost of our sin...then we need to. This is a warning because I feel the time is short, and sin doesn't need to be coddled anymore. It's been comforted enough. It's had enough excuses made for it. Sin will not bring peace in the long run. No matter how right it feels, if it goes against the word of God, if it goes against our God given conscience, it is wrong. Put some purity into your minds, church. Let the truth of our Lord have more time in your heart and mind than other things.

The worldly agenda is being shoved downs our throats on a daily basis. We are in the world, and we should definitely not hide under pink Christian blankets from it, but we should love and pray for wisdom to know how to warn the ones we love, in love, because we love them and we love the Lord that died for them. So if you are looking for a way to counter that world agenda, pray for that wisdom, because we need it.

1John 1:3

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called the children of God.

Bless you! Go in Power!