I haven't shared about ministry in awhile. It's still happening, and I'm still blessed to do it. Even days after we found out that we lost our baby, we were doing programs. We were glad to have something other than sadness to think about, and the Lord opened up our eyes to amazing things he is is doing in South Africa. One of our first programs was in Gautang, at this place called Vastfontein Community. These guys actually worked with Kurt and Cathy good friends and fellow ministers of ours, for many years in Japan. Since they have had such a long running time of ministry there, they were excited to connect on this continent. As he shared stories of the lives a lot of these children are living, taking care of younger siblings, starving, having to grow up incredibly fast, as the miracles that came by out of obedience to God in seeing needs, I was so moved.
Recently, we worked with a school in Cathcart, which is in the Eastern Cape. Our host shared with us this- I just copied this section from my weekly letter to my supervisors.
"He shared from his heart how much it hurts to see how the culture of ancestor worship and the methods of “becoming a man” are ruining so many lives. He told us how young men, usually around 16-17, but sometimes even as young as 12 go into “the bush” where they go to this school where they are brainwashed about what it means to be a man, and then they get circumcised by someone who is not equipped to handle this kind of surgery, and then they come back as “men.” Then they are free to have sex and do whatever they want. And it's a common situation for young girls to get pregnant, but the father will deny that it's his child, because that would dishonor his ancestors. He shared that about 50 young boys died last year due to infection caused from the circumcision, but they all flock over there to get it done, not noticing any connection.
It break their
hearts how they see people who say that they are Christians, but walk
around with so much fear of their ancestors. It's easy to blame why
something goes wrong. I didn't sacrifice a beast when I was supposed
to do it! Now I must sacrifice 3 of them. And a cow is a lot of
money.
There are
definitely a lot of strongholds here. "
It's so hard for the Christians there to see others suffering, the kids they teach, and live with, and when they try to encourage them, what they hear in return is, "Oh, you are just being racist. You don't understand my culture. And they just want to shake them and say, your culture is killing you! You aren't respecting ancestors, you are selling your soul to the devil and he is laughing at you!
There is so much pain going on. It's good to be aware, and for me to share with you guys how you can pray for these things.
So often people come to our car when we are stopped and say, "I'm so hungry. Do you have any food?" There are so many people out of work, and so many people living off of a small grant that is given from the government when a baby is born. It's not enough for one person, but whole families somehow exist on it.
And as I look for food to give and learn about the cultures and learn lines and find places to sleep, I carry this burden of my own.
I finally shared on facebook about losing my baby, and a good friend said that it was unfair, and as I was thinking about that, I wrote this- it's not about fair. It's not a justice issue. God didn't owe me this. One of my struggles has been why did he let me get pregnant in the first place, but it doesn't bother me anymore. I see that a lot of good has come out of it, and I don't hold it against God, or my womb, or anyone.
When I say it doesn't bother me anymore, that should probably have read, it doesn't bother me right now. Because I know this is not something you get over. I know I've got some hard times ahead of me, but I'll get through them.
Another facebook friend asked me if I had any insights or thoughts as to why some families go through this loss, and some don't. I wrote- I think he takes the weak, the ones who might not seem so strong, and shows His strength through us for the world that doesn't have hope to see it. A host in Germany who actually lost her baby a few days after she was born wrote me and said, "And hard as it is: we can help other mums to go through it. We can show that we belong to Jesus not only in good times but also in the heartbreaking ones."
I think that goes for a lot of suffering. I read in a little book by Barbara Johnson that suffering is like a cake. If you take a big spoonful of flour and shortening, it will be disgusting. Stomach turning. But the Lord is putting all the ingredients together to make something beautiful, in His time. No, these ingredients do not make sense now. We just have to wait.
Here's a quote from Barbara Johnson- "I find that people who trust God with their suffering have an invisible aroma of a freshly baked cake, that draws people to them. As Paul puts it, "all things (all the ingrediants of pain and suffering) work together for good to them that love God." When we believe that nothing comes to us except through our Heavenly Father, then suffering begins to make a little sense to us- not much, I admit, but a little bit, and that's all God needs to work in our lives, just a mustard seed of faith."
What is unfair is that so many don't have hope, food, shelter or love. Lord use us to lift this unfairness off the face of this earth. As Christians, our pain pulls a closer to His arms, and to each other for comfort. We cling to the promise that blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Our pain awakens us to the pain of others and this enables our hearts to feel what the Lord feels all the time. He is constantly feeling the pain of the world, and the separation of those he loves. He is the hero in search of the lost sheep, and he won't stop until he finds them. I better stop already, this is a novel now!
Lots of love you all,
Katie
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