Wednesday, January 2, 2013

How do you feel about yourself?


Self esteem is a popular topic. Lots of books are out there about it. Self help to discover how to be happy to be you. Fascinating from a Christian perspective.

I have an odd bible reading plan. I read one chapter from 8-10 books a day. And only 1-2 of them are from the New Testament at the moment. Have I mentioned lately what an awesome book the Bible is? There is so much passion in the retelling of Joseph and his brothers. There is so much regret and humility in Abraham's story. There is such a commitment to excellence from David, especially at the end of his life, putting everything together for his son to fulfill his passion of building a house for the Lord, for the ark of the Covenant. There are so many warnings about the people of Israel losing everything if they would not wake up. Warnings about being carried off to Babylon, and nothing being able to save them. Brad Pitt called it, a couple thousand years late. “Inevitable.” Okay, that's a weird place for a pop culture reference. I guess I'm just happy that I know something about the outside world.

Anyway, something you'll notice about the bible is that it doesn't make people feel good for the sake of feeling good. It is just plain clear. People didn't get trophies for obedience, they got not dying. Abraham said before he died that he most of his days were wicked and short. He was like THEE most obedient person that ever was recorded in the Bible. Apart from Jesus who is obviously in his own category. But still.

We seem to be expecting God to conform to our so called needs. We seem to expect a give and take. We seem to expect that Job's friends were right, and that all we need to do is be good and expect good.
A Christian should never allow disparaging thoughts to take root, thoughts of not being any good, thoughts of not being worth anything. I fought against thorns that were nested against a stone wall today. I had to smash them under my foot and hold shears against their ugly, rough gnarled bodies. I had to spend time getting a lot of little thorns and annoying grass out of the way to get to the big branches, and I had to squeeze hard to pluck it out. My arms aren't that strong, but my legs kind of are. I held the shears between my knees and used my gloves to pad it a bit, and squeezed and felt so relieved to hear the snap of it being over. I cleared a path and it was hard but good.
The enemy plants lies, and we need to look out for ourselves and others to not get trapped inside them. We need to give others the truth and the tools to get out. But a weak little pat on the back and saying, “You are great, you are awesome, don't change a thing!” -that doesn't help.
That's a lie. No one is awesome, and we've all got things to change. Don't let a little lie keep you trapped. Don't just listen to what you want to hear! Wherever you are trapped, you can get out. The Lord is all powerful, and could just free us, but the thing is, we have wrapped up parts of ourselves into the lies that are full of thorns. Sometimes, we have built up our own pride within what is disguised as poor self esteem. We have built up identity in being a victim, and in being hurt. I know I have. The Lord, the King who became a baby, won't go where we won't let Him.
And guilt and unhappiness and fear and a poor self esteem are sure signs that we aren't living the way we should or could, because we are wrapped up in something.

There we have it. We can't be happy being ourselves because we self mutilate and self sabotage and our flesh isn't meant to be liked. It isn't meant to be tolerated. It's meant to be crucified. Once we get our stupid selves out of the way, snap out that root problem, we can actually start looking at others.

I'll leave you with this great quote.

"He went to the cross and they crucified Him there. The Father, God Almighty, accepted His sacrifice as the one, last, final fulfillment and consummation of all the sacrifices ever made on Jewish alters. After He had been dead three days, He came forth-raised from the dead and out of the grave. After a few days He ascended as Victor over all the forces of death and hell and sat down amid the acclamations of the heavenly hosts! There He sits at God's right hand-a living man, our representative and advocate and great high priest. Believing this, we ought to be the most fearless, most relaxed, the happiest and the most God-assured people in the whole world!" A.W. Tozer

I don't actually want anyone to be blessed if it will keep them happy with the status quo of normalicy and acceptance of all that isn't right with themselves and the world. How rude am I?
Or maybe the blessing is an uncomfortable viewpoint, a press of the finger of God right into the soul that says, “I want you to be mine, and I want you to let me in and do some pruning. I want to overwhelm you with my love, and it may hurt, but that is the blessing that you need. 

-Katie 
(trying to speak with an open heart for the Lord, hoping to make a difference in this world for Jesus)

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