The reasons why it's all okay.

Dear World,

Training times mean full days. Being a Covenant Player means a full life in general. It means a purpose-filled life. We get to be aware of how close we are in a way the early church was. Living in community is a part of who we are, and I have been so challenged to keep my eyes open and see people. Knowing we have something to do at basically any minute of the day. Lines to learn, food to prepare, dishes to clean, prayers to offer, plays to rehearse, classes to particpate in and sometimes to teach, plays to direct, and the list goes on. And now, we have some kids again! So there's a two year old who gets a lot of love from everyone,  a 6 year old that loves to have people be impressed by his feats of energy and speed, and a 10 year old who is content to read the whole time.

I have been challenged to not waste so many words, and I have been so excited to listen to people, to hear the stories and relish in the details. At banquet, the big new was announced, and before that happened, I was between worlds. Between the people I was starting to get to know and the need that we will be a part of filling. Wanting to leave and wanting to stay. There are so many worlds I could see myself in. Living in Utah, living in Sweden, touring in the Lewis and Clark area longer. Touring in Germany. Touring in France. When we were asked if we would consider this, it was so funny to me. I laughed and cried and felt so much. But the dominant emotion was joy. Having so many options and places where our hearts could be, (and have been) this was the first thing that made us excited in a long time.

We do still want to have a family. A lot of people who know me know that I really want to be a Mom. I have wanted to be a Mom my whole life and I still do. But I am at peace to put that on hold, and I know it's the Holy Spirit who is giving that peace. I trust Him to hold onto that part of my heart and give it back when the time is right. It feels like, if I were to have that overwhelming desire, it would be too heavy. The Lord knows the burden I am able to handle. And I am in my late 20's, and that is not such a big deal. I have known lots of people to have kids in their 30's. It's okay.

I wonder how quickly it all will happen. I want to go as soon as possible, I want to jump in and support my unit and supervisor. I want to love on them and be prepared to go out on the road in this brand new culture and language and people. I am excited and also a little bit tired of people asking me when we're going to leave. I don't know! I'll let you know when I do!

I do thank God for all of you that He has placed in my path. You are my treasure, you are gems in the crown that I will throw at His feet on that day.

Katie